Ashlee Big 3 Aspected

 

Ashlee's Big 3 Aspected

 

Yesterday we learned that I possess more traits that are likened to that of a male than that of a female. That my childhood was mainly focused on education, stimulating the mind and living in the world of books. We came to understand that my father and I had a love/ hate relationship and that I am very sensitive to feelings; myself and others. There are 3 distinct sides within me- Happy, sad/lonely and anger. The anger manifests itself as a hated towards men or a dislike of anything in an authoritative role. I do not like being told what to do or how to do it. Which is a mixture of my sun and moon placements. The ascendant makes me a quite positive and optimistic person who is enthusiastic about everything. Only when I am alone or left to my own devices will you see glints of the loneliness that I feel due to the way I was treated.  

 

If you would like to continue reading more about me let us continue down the path that is me:

 

The Ascendant and its Aspects

 

Ascendant conjunct Mercury

 

If the Ascendant represents how we begin things and Mercury indicates how we communicate, these two energies may represent itself differently than the conversation indicates it should. The ascendant represents how we present ourselves, the kind of energy we put out when we attempt something new; mercury can be used to understand how we communicate, we talk, how we think. We may say one thing and do another. The dichotomy can be understood when we consider mercury in a relationships.

 

Because the Sun is in such close proximity to Mercury, the Mercury placement may be outweighed by the suns energy. People born with this conjunction are able to put their thoughts into action for Mercury rules the mind, the ability to communicate. 

 

Ascendant sextile Venus

 

If the ascendant represents the masquerade, the persona, how we start something new, and Venus symbolizes what we want from life, what we desire, how we appreciate love, this combination will indicate how we manifest our desire nature in our personal life. In romantic situations these aspects shape the life for they indicate the degree of comfort or discomfort that will be experienced as we accomplish our goals, or cope with our frustrated romantic aspirations.

 

People with the Ascendant sextile Venus  easily attain their affectional needs, for their persona manifests traits similar to that which they appreciate in general.

 

Ascendant sesquisquare Jupiter

 

The ascendant is the masquerade, the indicator of how we project our persona; it reflects how we handle our new beginnings. Jupiter indicates how we relate ourselves to others, and how we relate to our personal needs.  WE either relate (or understand) what we start or we don't. If we relate easily, we tend to do well professionally; if not then we have to be really brilliant in order to get ahead.  When Jupiter squares the Ascendant the relationship needs argue with the persona. A battle for freedom within the relationship ensues.

 

Ascendant trine Saturn

  

If Saturn indicates what we raged with caution and the ascendant represents the persona, or how we begin something new, the aspects between Saturn and the Ascendant will indicate caution or circumspection. The trine indicates people who were raised in an atmosphere of careful decision making. Work done and values considered are those that cooperate with authority and tradition. Action taken will probably be mature because the childhood environment encouraged it.

The Sun and Its Aspects

Sun Trine Mars'

The sun represents the spiritual self, the "I am" part of the self. The sun sign and its aspects to the sun indicate something about your behavior of the physical father when the child was 0-3 years of age. Mars represents action; its the "I act" principle and describes the kind of action a person will take. When the Sun and Mars are combined by aspect , it can be determined whether or not the self can be acted out in a constructive way. When we act against the sun, we place limitations on our potential. Mars also indicates our special kind of sexuality. Something of a person's sexual response to self and to other people can be determined by examining the aspects between Mars and the Sun.
These people have the ability to work well and are capable of accomplishment in the world; the choice that they will make has to do with what they consider accomplishment to be. The decision will be formed from the energy attached to the Sun sign regarding ethics, values and philosophical outlook. Mars represents the "I act " and the sun represents the "I am" When these two energies work together, these people have an opportunity to make a mark on the universe. Whether or not the energy is used this way is a personal decision.
The father brings a healthy image to the child when it is born; the family atmosphere shows the child how to accomplish what it sets out to do. Because family helps and encourages the child, and because the father is under a favorable influence when the child was born, the child may expect that all his endeavors will be encouraged and appreciated by those around them. They may find that Mom and Dad give more support than their peers. If this happens, the child may give up too easily when things do not go his way. His individual persistence level may be determined by considering the sun sign, what the fallibilities are and how Saturn is Aspected in the natal chart. All in all, people born with this aspect have ample opportunity to get "mission impossible" possible.
This makes you have quite a strong and resilient nature, or you feel fearful and feeble in the face of what seems to be  hostile world. So on the one hand, you are built for action, and as a rule you have no trouble getting on with the job at hand. You are decisive, forthright and competitive, and other people pick up on this and respond to it- although not necessarily that favorably.
On the other hand, you must realize that your timidity is being felt by the child in you, which poses the need to develop a tougher adult side of yourself. In either case, you need to know what you want, otherwise what could be a mixture of desire and aimlessness or sheer willfulness will create far more enemies than allies. Bear in mind that your undeniable drive and energy is initially discovered through encountering similar competiveness in others. Your primarily requirement is finding a worthwhile cause.

Sun quincunx Jupiter

These planets indicate an emphasis regarding how the individual is programmed to relate to the self(the inner values, the personal needs) Jupiter symbolizes how we relate to the concept of self, family and the universe around us. If Jupiter is hard Aspected the child saw the relating principle as difficult. This can indicate an adult problem with relating in general. The hard aspects often indicate an inability to diagnose the needs of the self. When talking about their childhood experience, these may be the people that swear that they had wonderful childhood environment, when the aspects in the chart say that they didn't.
Jupiter afflictions are hard for us to accept within ourselves. They create a subconscious aversion to looking within, but it's important to do so. We cannot receive what we need if we don't know who we are. To know that  "I am" and to know that "I exist" are important to share with someone. The relating ability includes friends, lovers, families, children as well as a feeling of being part of the universe and feeling excited about being alive in the world around us.
This aspect creates a strain. Jupiter indicates how we relate to the world, and the sun represents what we are. The train usually exist because out relationship abilities conflict in some way with our inner needs. Jupiter- Sun afflictions represent a certain barrier to personal growth. If we can't really relate to who we are, how can we really share ourselves in a relationship? In the spiritual sense, Jupiter and Saturn are the planets that get us from this plane to the others, for they are the qualities that permit consciousness to expand. Referring back to the ancient houses, Jupiter and Saturn rule the 9th, 10th, 11th, and 12th houses. These are areas that represent conscious expansion. If Jupiter and Saturn afflictions exists within the chart they should be the first planets to be understood.

There are distinct times in your life when you tend to go overboard in certain areas of your life, such as with food or drink, jumping into new business or personal ventures without enough forethought, and so forth. When reality hits, you feel guilty for your excesses. You may frequently dream big dreams or devise big plans, only to leave them hanging when you realize they are not attainable, or that you don't have the energy or resources to work towards them. Recognizing these tendencies is the first step towards resolving them.

 Before you know it, you can get in over your head. The influence of your Sun in quincunx aspect to Jupiter stimulates a powerful restlessness and desire to push beyond your limits. The problem is seeing the limits in the first place! For you, they need to be made out of rubber in order to stretch as frequently as you would like

Sun Semi square Saturn

When the Sun and Saturn are linked together the spiritual self is combined with a process of restriction. In order to grow with these aspects, we need to understand Father Nature, the masculine half of Mother Nature! Saturn represents how the father may psychologically influence or hamper the growth of his child. In a general sense, Saturn contacts involve the concept of restriction or a feeling of "lack" in the personality. However because we tend to give more attention to our lacks, they become our strong points.
the child was born into an atmosphere where the father does not like himself. The Sun represents the  "I am" it also indicates the type of physical father. Saturn indicates where repression comes from. It also indicates the psychological influence of the father on the child. It can also be used to indicate how the father's father was- for when Saturn semi squares the sun it indicates that the grandfather was influential in developing the behavior pattern of the father, who in turn influences the child. When this aspect occurs, it can mean that the father is feeling sorry for himself or resents his fatherhood, his career, his life style, his responsibilities, his neighborhood etc. The child born at this time will inherit or learn Daddy's behavior pattern. The learning process is an unconscious one; the parent may not even be aware that he can influence his child in this manner. The life pattern of that child develops will be described by the signs that the sun and Saturn are in. Again, the child born into a positive sign (1= Aries,3= Gemini,5= Leo,7= Libra,9= Saggitarius,11= Aquarius) may be antitradtion, antifather, anitmen, anti-organization. This energy can be used for accomplishing either good, bad, for world changers go against tradition but do so rabble-rousers. How one wishes to use this energy is a personal decision.
Often the Saturn semi square Sun children have a father who leaves them. This is particularly important to girls for some of them subconsciously expect any man that they love to leave them since daddy did. One never knows how the energy of the early environment affects the mind; but we can begin to understand when we listen to a client's problem and begin to tie it into the chart. Because we don't remember our early childhood impressions, sometimes the only way to unearth them is by trying to understand the language and symbolism continued in astrology.
These people carry with them an aura of resentment toward any authority figure, including the boss. People in management dislike personnel with this placement, for although the employee does his job, he often does it with an  'attitude'. These people are sometimes better off self-employed or working at the management level, for they don't work well with others. In order to get into management, however, one has to do some time on the obedience level. Once a jog is well learned, or if we have  talent to offer, we can advance our status. It's important that these people receive the training necessary to free them from subordinate positions.
On the self-awareness level, since father negatively influences these children on a psychological level, and this influence is rarely conscious, they need to develop feelings of self-worth. They have to convince themselves that they have a right to invest time in themselves, to build a sense of self. When one has no self worth , one even feels guilty about asking for help, si it's difficult to go into therapy.
The individuals may project all their problems onto others- its the worlds fault they aren't successful- and they may sound rather paranoid. A relationship that doesn't go well is their partners fault.; and all the ills in life happen because of other people. However, they aren't able to put much into a relationship until they like themselves, so healthy people may leave them. Understanding the attitude alleviates the problem. Learning that we all have a right to do something to help ourselves can lead these individuals into the right path. When we are on the right path for ourselves, we can feel it in our guts. We begin to feel good!
They either have an unshakable discipline about you, or an impenatratable wall around you - or both. Yours is a life where your will is having to be built and tested, tested and built some more, in order to achieve the goals described by your sun profile. You therefore have or need to construct, a highly objective attitude to life situations, and adopt conventionally laid down, tried and true, methods in order to achieve those ends. In the process though, take yourself less seriously, or else your innate sense of duty can amount to nothing more than a lonely 24 hour a day guard around your fragile ego.

Sun Opposing Uranus

Any contact between the Sun and Uranus tends to influence the person to be more unconventional rather than "normal" sign type. It signifies unusual parents and an unusual childhood environment, but how these things are "different" is an unknown. Unusual behavior can range anywhere from unorthodox on a healthy level, to all kinds of perversity. The childhood environment can be determined by looking at the rest  of the aspects in the chart. Uranus is a generational planet that affects thousands of people in one sign.
The behavior patterns of the father are not productive at the time the child was born, and the child is caught in the unproductive pattern. The father presents himself in such an unorthodox way that the subconscious mind of the child develops  a pattern that includes "unsureidness" of self. The father causes the child to undergo some kind of hardship; perhaps life situation or hardships that confront the father are taken out on the child when dad comes home. Whatever the case, the child assumes that life should not be easy! When one believes this one usually draws the life experience one expects.
Relationships are often difficult for those with this aspect, for they present themselves to others in a manner that is difficult for to her to understand. The generation that they are born into may have adverse effects on them. They may also become involved in the exclusive idea of being "different" Unconventional or eccentric people can be either interesting or self destructive. When we pursue the unusual merely for the sake of being unusual, either to get attention or to bother someone else, we seldom stop to see if our eccentricity is productive. Because each individual is free to choose how he will live his life as an adult, its impossible to predict the behavior patterns of people born with this aspect. The Uranian is usually ahead of the times or behind them.
It seems as if the father does not provide a dependable image for this child. If the child is born into a positive sign, he may suffer through his experience with dad, dealing with some form of physical violence, or perhaps some kind of emotional violence that serves to develop a quality of insecurity.
This aspect bring with it a transformational quality, and because the child is exposed to unusual behavior patterns, it is capable of developing new avenues of thought as an adult. These can be the individuals who evolve consciously, who become the contemporary philosophers of their generation, for Uranus lifts up the sign type. The uplifting experience seldom takes place until they get over hating daddy or feeling self-pity because of their childhood circumstance.

Sun Semi square The North Node, Sun Sesquisquare the South Node

 You Are Challenged by Your Destiny. Commonly, given this configuration, you are reluctant to face either your life’s destiny or your karmic past.  You have a tendency to escape into yourself and become absorbed in your own sense of being or your own personality.  You may exhibit a strong persona, thereby, but you will be distracted from the pursuit of your destiny and from clearing up any loose ends associated with your karmic past.  It is also likely that it will be difficult for you to develop your innate talents and resources, as they are psychologically connected to the unresolved issued symbolized by the South Node.
The tendencies described above may be lessened is either the North or the South Node is conjunct any other planet (which draws your attention to that pole).  However, because of this focus, it is also possible that the difficulties symbolized by the square to the Nodes become more problematical.  If a planet conjuncts the South Node, you may be unmindful of your destiny and if a planet conjuncts the North Node, you may fail to realize or utilize various talents or resources that are your karmic heritage.
If you decide to meet the challenge symbolized by the Sun square Nodes, rather than escape from it, you will feel driven toward a destiny that is likely to be difficult.  You may have to overcome various challenges and obstacles to achieve your life’s goals.  At the same time, you may find that your natural talents and resources carry mixed blessings, or that there may be obstacles in the way of your accessing them.  You may have to give up something of your self in order to fulfill your destiny/talents, but you will find that what has been given up is only a lower, less complete self.  The result of meeting the challenges symbolized by this configuration will be a stronger and more fully realized individuality.

Transcendent Potential

 The transcendent potential of the Sun square the Moon’s Nodes is realized when your concept of self is transformed so that you see that you are not the ego-self, but something higher.  It may be the pull of destiny that causes this realization or you may discover an innate spirituality within yourself.  Your self-realization, n turn, enhances your ability to pursue a higher destiny and to tap deep within yourself for your spiritual treasure.  In fact, it is only be rising above your ego self that you can reconcile your identity, your destiny and your innateness.

Insecurity

 Because you will not risk losing your ego, you are blind to both your destiny and your innate resources.  You are sunk into your own ego-identity.  Yet, consciously or subconsciously, you are pulled both toward your destiny and toward the realization of your talents, resources and innate nature.  You resist this pull, however, so that you are either consciously conflicted and in inner turmoil or you are subject to the blows of both destiny and habit that your subconscious employs to try to shake you out of your ego-complacency.

Sun Square Midhaven

Something gets in the way of your amounting to something in life, or you have an ambition that brooks no resistance. In either case that something is your ego, and as such it is afraid of failing- which could be regarded as a failing in itself. You'll need to be clearer about what you are really trying to prove to prevent you, and those you work with or live with, feeling too pressured.

The Moon Aspects

Moon opposing Jupiter

The moon represent our physical body, how we respond to life around us, our need for affection, the mother as she responded in the early childhood relationship with us. Jupiter indicates how we open up, how we expand our consciousness. When Jupiter ties into the moon, it indicates that a gut-level awareness will take place when something new is envisioned or learned, for the opening up will be received in the physical sense as well as in other ways. If Jupiter represents how we relate, its tie to the Moon will indicate how we rete to our emotional needs and reactions, how we relate to our physical body and its needs.
During the early childhood experience of this person, the mother withdrawals from them. She may not be relating her needs as a women; she may feel that women's emotional needs are not considered by others. This child will pick up her attitude, and, he will be too involved with the mother for one reason or another. As an adult, he will have to learn how to relate to his personal emotional needs as well as the needs of the his body. There may be too little emphasis placed on personal needs and too much placed on those of other. Emotional responses are not easily shared, relationships may be considered from a point of compromise and tension's in these areas my be assuaged by an overindulgence in food or alcohol.
Relationships may be started with little consideration for the future; the career, friendships formed, or even love relationships may not be developed easily for their is a tendency to play a role. This can be the person who works really hard at the wrong job, the person who has friends who don't really know him, the person who marries and has children with someone who never knows how he or she really feels.


Moon trine South node

Your Emotional/Subconscious Function is in Harmony Predispositions and Innate Qualities
The trine between the Moon and the South Node tends to be a particularly conducive aspect due to basic compatibility of the functions symbolized by the Moon and South Node. Both are patterns of behavior that are ingrained and that have their roots in past experiences.  The harmony between your basic emotional and behavioral nature and subconscious conditioning, on the one hand, and your innate qualities and talents that derived from past (life)experience suggests that there is a strong tendency for you to exploit those talents and resources that are symbolized by the South Node’s placement. You are apt to be emotionally well suited to develop your natural talents. Your family and/or cultural background and heritage are also likely to be amenable to your making the best use of your gifts and resources.  You are also likely to be predisposed to follow a road in life that is in harmony with your domestic and family life, your emotional nature and your basic behavioral patterns.  All this makes for not only feeling comfortable about the area of life symbolized by the South Node’s house placement, but also for your natural aptitudes seeming to come even more naturally. If either the Moon or the South Node has a difficult aspect from another planet, the trine suggest a way for you to relieve the stress that is associated with the difficult aspect.  Your innate talents, resources and qualities may help you deal with the stress associated with a difficult aspect is to the Moon.  Emotional or family support or your intuition can usually help you deal with any stress associated with a difficult aspect to the South Node

Transcendent Potential

  The transcendent potential of the Moon trine the South Node is realized when you follow those predispositions that are symbolized by the South Node in harmony with a wholeness of being and emotional health that you have experienced through actualizing the potential of your subconscious.  You have sought your cosmic roots both by developing your innate spiritual qualities and by exploring your subconscious and seeking to merge into the Oneness of Being, the Eternal Mother.  These growth processes support each other and have allowed you to grow in your capacity for compassion and caring, as well as in developing your inner and outer resources to their highest potential. Being insecure in your selfhood, you have not demanded much from yourself in life.  Consequently, you have failed to discover the treasure lying within you, but have remained content with a banal routine existence.  Family, domestic concerns, emotions that never transcend the personal and a subconsciously conditioned life are perfectly in harmony with your lack of ambition to take those innate talents and resources that you possess any farther than their ordinary application to everyday life.

Putting it all Together:

As we look at the aspects of the big 3 it is clear to see where I get my "Daddy issues" from and why I have them. My father did a huge psychological number on me as a child. It was his dominating influence that developed my self- esteem issues and feelings of not having any self worth. I wasn't allowed to make decisions for myself; they were made by my father. Even when I open my mouth- it all had to be approved by him first. My father never told me that he loved me; he only dangled the illusion that he loved me over my head so that I would strive to be more like a man- which is why he raised me by the works of Machiavelli's the Prince. All of his actions towards me taught me that I was a waste of space and that I was unlovable. This grew within me a fragile ego and a huge hole of "nothing that I do matters"
Instead of looking to him as my role model I looked to the Heavenly father as my father. At least he wouldn't let me down and would take the time to give me the things that my own father couldn't. As I got older I realized that my will was being tested over and over again. Our arguments taught me that I was a lot stronger than he made me out to be. That I had a large amount of will power and that I did nothing for his pleasure. I worked out most of these things within me MYSELF. I didn't have any help except my higher self and back then I didn't want to listen to what they were saying. I had to become strong in my sense of self; what I held as right and wrong and ease up on being so angry with people in powerful positions over me. With the help of Saturn, Jupiter and Uranus I was able to find a higher calling- I taught myself astrology. First as a parlor trick then as a way to help guide me in my life since I had no guidance.
Due to these big 3 aspects I had to "remake myself in the image that I saw fit"- not how others choose to see me. I hade to work through all of my darkness; understand where it came from (my father) and how to make it positively constructive in my life. If you were wondering where my ideals and high expectations of myself, and conversely, expectations of others come from its all found right here in the above information. 12th house Geminis live in the shadows of life; growing from darkness into beautiful creatures BECAUSE there was no other choice. They had to have a cruel and harsh upbringing in order to find their value and self worth on their own, without any help from others or they do not appreciate how far they have come in their life. This is why when people tell me that they can't or give a crappy excuse I internally know better.
Thanks to astrology I was able to free myself from the shackles that my Father imposed on me. Freed myself from the negative thought patterns that he was feeding me. I was able to become strong for myself; to become the whipping girl and I did it with a smile on my face because I wouldn't give my father the satisfaction of making me/seeing me cry to his face. This is where I can become fiercely protective of the people that I care about. I will take their punishment if need be because I knew I was strong enough to handle it. This is why I take the time to point out to others that they are causing unnecessary harm to others because I lived through it and recognize it within others.
My mother on the other hand, didn't teach me how to be a woman; I had to learn that from the Divine Mother. So I looked to nature to make me feel better; trees can't say mean things to you and neither could the animals. I developed a strong caring, compassionate nature that I reserved only for Nature. understanding the 3 phases of the moon I was able to make inferences about the mystery that is the feminine mystique and my role within it. I was taught that being a woman meant that you were the lowest of low; that you weren't taken seriously even if your have powerful life-altering ideas due to others preconceived notions of how a woman should act. It wasn't till I took a good long look at my parents behaviors and recognized them within me that I realized that I was being their copy and not "Ashlee" So I began to figure out my value system, things that were important to me and became the person that you see now.